Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Nothing special is going on therefore no special blog posting but a few ramblings. I haven't finished creating my blog or so you've probably noticed....I can't seem to find my camera to get some new photos to post...and by new I just mean not old ones....I realize we have none posted....what do we look like?.. you wonder...I hope to show you very soon. So sometimes I think I'm the only stay-at-home mom in the world who has a hard time with staying at home. I know this is where I want to be....I don't want to miss my children growing up and I certainly want to be a part of it.....the BIGGEST part....but I find myself going crazy daily and just wanting to get away. Whether it's my four-year-olds constant questions....or my two-year olds constant tantrums.....or my adorable 8 month-olds constant need to be held.....there's always someone who needs me....which I imagine(although I can't remember) is better than not being needed at all.....life is just tiring....and yet with how busy I am, I'm also bored and wrestless. Last year I depended so heavily on playgroups, trips to the mall, and trips to the local museum.....filled our time with lots of things, but now I find myself living in a smaller town....with no museum...a tiny mall where I don't want my children to be spending all of their time, and no playgroups as of yet. So tell me ....what do I do with my kids? The thing is I find myself thinking how can we burn the time....get through it....distract ourselves with this activity or that....but shouldn't I be thinking how can we enjoy each moment and live in it...not constantly hoping for the next or thinking let's get this over with. In the back of my mind I think I need a schedule...yes some structure would do us good.....I thrive on structure....I guess I just need to figure out what to fill our schedule with. If all goes according to plan Andrew will be starting headstart next week which will be every day for half the day. I have mixed emotions about that....it makes me sad to think he's getting bigger and soon he won't want to hold my hand or give me hugs whenever I want....and on the other hand I'm happy and excited for him to meet new friends and he too seems to thrive on structure so I know he'll like it as long as it's a decent program. ANyway I often find myself thinking this is my life and oh yeah there are the kids....but I think the key to enjoying being a stay-at-home mom is....thinking the kids are my life and embracing that instead of thinking of the kids part as a distraction which I sometimes do. I know it's also important to have your own things outside of the kids. ALrighty, that's enough for now....hope I don't win the worst mom in the world award now for thinking this way but I've got to be honest. But seriously I love my kids and I think one of the greatest things you can do for your kids is stay at home with them and I'm so happy to have this opportunity.......stepping down off of my soapbox. Goodnight.