I have a lot weighing on my mind so I feel like I have a lot to say. Sometimes...oddly those two things don't coincide. First I have made a couple of cute Valentine's things....though I'm wondering now if they were worth the time I put in....sure they were...they brighten things up and that's always a good thing. Here are a couple of pictures of my copied crafts....as in not my original idea...but someone else's. I'm thankful for crafty people who share their ideas on the internet...saves me a lot of time and embarrassment.
I'm assuming in both of these you can tell what I've made and then what was in all likelihood made in China and not by me. It's theraputic....making things....and feeling like it was worthwhile....a net benefit.
That brings me to what's really weighing on my mind...whether or not to have more kids. Tomorrow?....next week?....next year?....in 5 years? Daniel and I of course currently have 5 kids all under the age of 7...the oldest is 6.5. So, I think I have the answer for tomorrow and next week. And random people I meet while I'm out also seem to have the answers to those questions once they see how full my hands are. More than once I've said to a stranger who looks at me pityingly.."I think we're done having kids"....and they've replied "Ya think?" Interesting how we have it all figured out for other people. But I digress. So back to the question...do I have more kids? Since the twins were born the answer for Daniel and I has mostly been No. We've been in over our heads for some time and will probably continue to be for a while. And wouldn't it be nice to have a "light at the end of the tunnel"....to dream of a time when we could get more sleep and change fewer diapers. But...more importantly would our current children suffer because of a decision to add more to our clan? If I was doing a pros a cons list it'd look something like this...
1. our family is so large we can't go out to eat or anywhere without causing a scene
2. Daniel and I would be signing up for 18+ more years of work/worry
3. less attention for each current child
4. kids cost money
1. we are already so big that we don't go anywhere anyway so why not make the party at our house
2. isn't life about doing things that are worth while and what could be more worth while than raising a happy healthy human being
3. more siblings to play/talk/be friends with
4. great tax deduction and credit and oh yeah can you put a price on the joy of watching your son or daughter's first step....or first smile...or all
Those are just a few of the things that come to mind and may seem way too simple. Anyway, I just can't get this question out of my mind and don't feel like I have a clear answer. Of course I don't have to know today....but wouldn't it be nice if our lives were all mapped out for us and everything went according to plan? I wouldn't want to not have kids so that I could nap, shop, or go out to eat more.....none of those things bring me great happiness....sure maybe temporarily but when I'm on my deathbed I know I won't be saying thank goodness I had those 10 years to nap whenever I wanted and wasn't bothered by anyone.....or my favorite memory is when I spent all day shopping and going out to eat.......no it'll be a collage of things from my family life that'll bring me the most joy.....the thing I'll be the most proud of. Well there're my deep thoughts for tonight....now maybe I can sleep.